April Fools 2023: BREAKING - Rodgers to retire

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Crazylegs Starks
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April Fools 2023: BREAKING - Rodgers to retire

Post by Crazylegs Starks »

:shock:

Aaron Rodgers retiring after 18 seasons
SANTA MONICA, Cal. (AP) - In an unexpected move, longtime NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers has announced his retirement. Appearing briefly late Friday night at the Santa Monica headquarters of noted lifestyle brand Goop, Rodgers read a short statement thanking the Green Bay Packers, Gwyneth Paltrow, indie band Bon Iver, and many others while outlining his plans for the future. "I'm excited to begin a new chapter in my life, my journey. Gwyneth has graciously allowed me to join the Goop team, which will open so many new doors for me." said Rodgers. While it was thought that Rodgers would be continuing his playing career with the New York Jets, trade talks fell through when the Jets refused to give up a first round pick. "The Jets' offers were, frankly, insulting. I guess they don't want to win that bad." Rodgers quipped. In an exclusive session afterward attended by Goop executives, Rodgers reportedly said that he looked forward to exploring new ways of ingesting ayahuasca, and investigating rectal ozone therapy as an athletic recovery technique.
“We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.”
- Vince Lombardi

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TheSkeptic
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Post by TheSkeptic »

Crazylegs Starks wrote:
01 Apr 2023 01:25
:shock:

Aaron Rodgers retiring after 18 seasons
SANTA MONICA, Cal. (AP) - In an unexpected move, longtime NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers has announced his retirement. Appearing briefly late Friday night at the Santa Monica headquarters of noted lifestyle brand Goop, Rodgers read a short statement thanking the Green Bay Packers, Gwyneth Paltrow, indie band Bon Iver, and many others while outlining his plans for the future. "I'm excited to begin a new chapter in my life, my journey. Gwyneth has graciously allowed me to join the Goop team, which will open so many new doors for me." said Rodgers. While it was thought that Rodgers would be continuing his playing career with the New York Jets, trade talks fell through when the Jets refused to give up a first round pick. "The Jets' offers were, frankly, insulting. I guess they don't want to win that bad." Rodgers quipped. In an exclusive session afterward attended by Goop executives, Rodgers reportedly said that he looked forward to exploring new ways of ingesting ayahuasca, and investigating rectal ozone therapy as an athletic recovery technique.
:messedup:

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Labrev
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Post by Labrev »

Ha-ha. ;)
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flapackfan
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Post by flapackfan »

What a great way to celebrate Just Jeff's legacy!

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RingoCStarrQB
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Post by RingoCStarrQB »

Garsh, Sha-zam, Gall-lee. It's April Fools Day


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Yoop
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Post by Yoop »

good one :rotf:

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BF004
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Post by BF004 »

What would you expect when we never gave him any quick twitch lbers. I’d just retire too rather than support this convoluted front office. They stool his prime years with the 3 stooges at slot wr.
Spoiler
😘

Well don’t [mention]Crazylegs Starks[/mention] :clap: way to keep the tradition going.
Image

Image

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APB
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Post by APB »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Spoiler
The Rick-Roll was a nice touch!

JustJeff would have approved of this thread... :aok:

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RingoCStarrQB
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Post by RingoCStarrQB »

APB wrote:
01 Apr 2023 09:24
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Spoiler
The Rick-Roll was a nice touch!

JustJeff would have approved of this thread... :aok:
Way deep down I'm hoping it's real. Sha-Zam!

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Trudge
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Post by Trudge »

Nothing will beat the one I had. Packersnews was changing their setup and only had like two weeks. Start of free agency I make one where I said we signed Alen Fanaca....which took them into the Rick Roll...but it didn't stop there! Would reduce itself and bounce around the screen...and THEN lyrics should pop up. You can hold the enter, but if you held it too long it would start a new one.

Got band and instantly made a new one called Rick Astley and approved. Should have seen the reaction.
Us reads viewers a fur. Thats guys a weeks shared reds.

Never forget where you came from....

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Packfntk
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Post by Packfntk »

Man I miss JJ.
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wizard 87
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Post by wizard 87 »

Trudge wrote:
01 Apr 2023 10:06
Nothing will beat the one I had. Packersnews was changing their setup and only had like two weeks. Start of free agency I make one where I said we signed Alen Fanaca....which took them into the Rick Roll...but it didn't stop there! Would reduce itself and bounce around the screen...and THEN lyrics should pop up. You can hold the enter, but if you held it too long it would start a new one.

Got band and instantly made a new one called Rick Astley and approved. Should have seen the reaction.
I remember that...classic. Those were the days

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Captain_Ben
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Post by Captain_Ben »

:lol:

You had me for about 5 seconds there. Good one!

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Crazylegs Starks
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Post by Crazylegs Starks »

I wanted to work in an angle where anonymous sources said Pat McAfee felt "hurt and betrayed" that Rodgers didn't announce it on his show. It was already getting too long though. :lol:
“We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.”
- Vince Lombardi

Madcity_matt
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Post by Madcity_matt »

BF004 wrote:
01 Apr 2023 08:44
What would you expect when we never gave him any quick twitch lbers. I’d just retire too rather than support this convoluted front office. They stool his prime years with the 3 stooges at slot wr.
Spoiler
😘

Well don’t @Crazylegs Starks :clap: way to keep the tradition going.
grammar was too good, lol. If you'd have gone with "I'd retire to rather than support" I would have believed you'd been yoop-hacked. But the Stool was a nice touch

wallyuwl
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Post by wallyuwl »

I heard he is dating Erin Andrews

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RingoCStarrQB
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Post by RingoCStarrQB »

wallyuwl wrote:
01 Apr 2023 12:21
I heard he is dating Erin Andrews
She must be getting desperate. :woohoo:

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Post by Cdragon »

I was thinking about posting one from the Rihyadh Times-Picayune that AR had been sold to the LIV Golf league for their new Celeb Pro-Am league. The Packers were willing to eat the cap for future oil revenue.

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Crazylegs Starks
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Post by Crazylegs Starks »

Cdragon wrote:
02 Apr 2023 11:04
I was thinking about posting one from the Rihyadh Times-Picayune that AR had been sold to the LIV Golf league for their new Celeb Pro-Am league. The Packers were willing to eat the cap for future oil revenue.
That's brilliant! :rotf:
“We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.”
- Vince Lombardi

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