SANTA MONICA, Cal. (AP) - In an unexpected move, longtime NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers has announced his retirement. Appearing briefly late Friday night at the Santa Monica headquarters of noted lifestyle brand Goop, Rodgers read a short statement thanking the Green Bay Packers, Gwyneth Paltrow, indie band Bon Iver, and many others while outlining his plans for the future. "I'm excited to begin a new chapter in my life, my journey. Gwyneth has graciously allowed me to join the Goop team, which will open so many new doors for me." said Rodgers. While it was thought that Rodgers would be continuing his playing career with the New York Jets, trade talks fell through when the Jets refused to give up a first round pick. "The Jets' offers were, frankly, insulting. I guess they don't want to win that bad." Rodgers quipped. In an exclusive session afterward attended by Goop executives, Rodgers reportedly said that he looked forward to exploring new ways of ingesting ayahuasca, and investigating rectal ozone therapy as an athletic recovery technique.
SANTA MONICA, Cal. (AP) - In an unexpected move, longtime NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers has announced his retirement. Appearing briefly late Friday night at the Santa Monica headquarters of noted lifestyle brand Goop, Rodgers read a short statement thanking the Green Bay Packers, Gwyneth Paltrow, indie band Bon Iver, and many others while outlining his plans for the future. "I'm excited to begin a new chapter in my life, my journey. Gwyneth has graciously allowed me to join the Goop team, which will open so many new doors for me." said Rodgers. While it was thought that Rodgers would be continuing his playing career with the New York Jets, trade talks fell through when the Jets refused to give up a first round pick. "The Jets' offers were, frankly, insulting. I guess they don't want to win that bad." Rodgers quipped. In an exclusive session afterward attended by Goop executives, Rodgers reportedly said that he looked forward to exploring new ways of ingesting ayahuasca, and investigating rectal ozone therapy as an athletic recovery technique.
Re: BREAKING - Rodgers to retire
Posted: 01 Apr 2023 05:44
by Labrev
Ha-ha.
Re: BREAKING - Rodgers to retire
Posted: 01 Apr 2023 06:48
by flapackfan
What a great way to celebrate Just Jeff's legacy!
Re: BREAKING - Rodgers to retire
Posted: 01 Apr 2023 07:47
by RingoCStarrQB
Garsh, Sha-zam, Gall-lee. It's April Fools Day
Re: BREAKING - Rodgers to retire
Posted: 01 Apr 2023 08:05
by Yoop
good one
Re: BREAKING - Rodgers to retire
Posted: 01 Apr 2023 08:44
by BF004
What would you expect when we never gave him any quick twitch lbers. I’d just retire too rather than support this convoluted front office. They stool his prime years with the 3 stooges at slot wr. Spoiler
Well don’t [mention]Crazylegs Starks[/mention] way to keep the tradition going.
Nothing will beat the one I had. Packersnews was changing their setup and only had like two weeks. Start of free agency I make one where I said we signed Alen Fanaca....which took them into the Rick Roll...but it didn't stop there! Would reduce itself and bounce around the screen...and THEN lyrics should pop up. You can hold the enter, but if you held it too long it would start a new one.
Got band and instantly made a new one called Rick Astley and approved. Should have seen the reaction.
Nothing will beat the one I had. Packersnews was changing their setup and only had like two weeks. Start of free agency I make one where I said we signed Alen Fanaca....which took them into the Rick Roll...but it didn't stop there! Would reduce itself and bounce around the screen...and THEN lyrics should pop up. You can hold the enter, but if you held it too long it would start a new one.
Got band and instantly made a new one called Rick Astley and approved. Should have seen the reaction.
I remember that...classic. Those were the days
Re: BREAKING - Rodgers to retire
Posted: 01 Apr 2023 11:13
by Captain_Ben
You had me for about 5 seconds there. Good one!
Re: BREAKING - Rodgers to retire
Posted: 01 Apr 2023 11:21
by Crazylegs Starks
I wanted to work in an angle where anonymous sources said Pat McAfee felt "hurt and betrayed" that Rodgers didn't announce it on his show. It was already getting too long though.
What would you expect when we never gave him any quick twitch lbers. I’d just retire too rather than support this convoluted front office. They stool his prime years with the 3 stooges at slot wr. Spoiler
Well don’t @Crazylegs Starks way to keep the tradition going.
grammar was too good, lol. If you'd have gone with "I'd retire to rather than support" I would have believed you'd been yoop-hacked. But the Stool was a nice touch
Re: April Fools 2023: BREAKING - Rodgers to retire
Posted: 02 Apr 2023 11:04
by Cdragon
I was thinking about posting one from the Rihyadh Times-Picayune that AR had been sold to the LIV Golf league for their new Celeb Pro-Am league. The Packers were willing to eat the cap for future oil revenue.
Re: April Fools 2023: BREAKING - Rodgers to retire
I was thinking about posting one from the Rihyadh Times-Picayune that AR had been sold to the LIV Golf league for their new Celeb Pro-Am league. The Packers were willing to eat the cap for future oil revenue.
way to keep the tradition going.
